Tenacious T

Someone Got Into Mom's Makeup

2010-12-20T09:29:00.000-06:00

Vail

2010-12-11T13:34:00.005-06:00

Kristin and I got invited to go to Vail with Ted and Julie. We had an absolute blast, but I wish I had spent more time on my skis before venturing out West. Ted was so excited prior to our arrival that I thought he was going to piss himself. He may have...I didn't really ask for details. The source of this excitement was the fact that Blue Sky Basin would be opening up for the first time this year on the day we were arriving. With over 8 feet of snow in November, this meant lots of fresh powder to ski.

Remember how I just took up skiing less than a year ago? Yeah.

Having never skied in powder before, I assumed it would be similar to other skiing, just more...powdery. Not so much. Shit's hard! On our way to the "back bowls" was a moderately steep, ungroomed run. The top was super crusty, with really light powder underneath. The first time I tried to turn, only one ski went where it was supposed to, while the other went the opposite direction. I did the splits, went head-first into the snow, and lost both my skis. Long story short, it took me 40 minutes to navigate my way down that hill. Shameful. By the time we got to the "fresh powder", it wasn't quite so fresh anymore.

Halfway down, I somehow found myself at the top of a cliff, which sucked. At that time, Ted came flying by and declared, "Oh, Taylor, I was hoping you wouldn't be in here." Oops. It took me a bit to figure out how to get around it, but I finally made my way to the bottom. Ted had completed 3 runs in that time. *Sigh* I suck. It should be noted that Ted is some sort of skiing superstar, which highlighted by suckage.

Fortunately (for the sake of my pride), Kristin also sucked at skiing. She just picked up skiing last year as well, and she was having major confidence issues and just wasn't having fun. That was a major bummer, since the main point of this trip was to celebrate her birthday. On our 3rd day there, she finally decided to switch back to snowboarding and had a much better time.

I found there are a lot of similarities between skiing and mountain biking. The most obvious being that you need to fully commit to your line/jump/trick in order to be successful. I spent far too much time skiing tentatively, but I started to figure it out as the trip went on. I'm about as good at skiing now as I ever was at snowboarding, and I'm hoping that I'll keep getting better with more experience. And bigger balls.

Kristin after our first day of skiing. That shit's tiring!

Great view! The mountains are pretty, too.
The switch to 'boarding went much better
The crew
My cousin, Erica, and her boyfriend live in Denver and came to see us for the day.
The best part of the day: beers après ski!
If I ever get invited back again (hint-hint), I think I would do a few things differently. I would get skis designed for big mountain skiing, and I would get a lot more time in on my skis prior to leaving. Hopefully my progress will continue throughout the winter.

This was one of the coolest trips I've been on, and was a fantastic experience. Also, my helmet had speakers in it, and my playlist for the trip was perfect. At least I get the important things right!

Perot '92? On A Brand New Car? Really?

2010-12-10T09:16:00.001-06:00

Saw this on my way to work today. Dude must have a stash from like 20 years ago.

Cleanin' Out My Closet...er, Sack.

2010-12-09T10:28:00.001-06:00

This is the bag I brought to the track every week for 3 years. Yesterday, I emptied it out.

It was actually a pretty somber experience. Lots of memories in there. Numbers from Fixed Gear Classic, workout notes, goals, and various assorted tools (so that's where my pitch angle level went!)

I really illustrated how much I loved racing. No regrets, but I will miss it.

Hey, I've Got A Dog. My Next Workout Program?

2010-12-08T14:05:00.001-06:00

By Popular Demand, The P90X Update

2010-12-08T10:30:00.001-06:00

Here's the short version: I quit.

Here's the longer version:

I finished the first month and actually had pretty good results. Then I got sick and didn't work out for a week, then life got in the way and I kind of lost interest.

After the first week, I realized that I needed to modify some of the workouts to better fit my goals. This included modifying the chest workout to include heavy bench press instead of doing 800 different variation of push-ups.

The cardio-based workouts (Kenpo, plyometrics) were actually a great workout and quite a bit of fun.

Consistently working out 6 days a week is also a great recipe for results.

The bottom line, however, is that I just didn't really care for the majority of the workouts. They were all very repetitive (doing cycles of the same 4 exercises for an hour, the 2-hour yoga video, etc...) and I didn't enjoy them.

The principles are sound. Mix up the workouts, throw in plenty of cardio, eat right, and stay consistent. For someone who wants a "no-brainer", the program is perfect. I just feel like I know my body well enough to design a program for myself that I enjoy doing and gives me the results I want.

The problem there is that I've been a lazy sack of shit lately. Work and family life have been super busy and I've had a hard time keeping up with the "extras" in life. Hopefully things will be calming down here shortly and I can start lifting and xc skiing. And maybe even blogging.

So Long, Old Friend

2010-11-12T11:37:00.002-06:00

The ergo is going to live with jonnycerious. This is a very bittersweet moment for me.

Monday Night Ride

2010-11-09T10:17:00.002-06:00

I finally got myself motivated to hit up the Monday Night MTB Ride last night. It was a relatively small turn-out with Franz, Ben, Bauerly, and myself. Fortunately (for me) we kept the pace manageable and and I was able to just enjoy a nice ride through the woods.

It was probably one of my favorite rides so far this year. The weather was perfect and the trail was in the best shape I've ever seen it.

Haters Gonna Hate!

2010-11-01T16:22:00.000-05:00

Lookie What The Beer Fairy Brought Me!

2010-10-24T20:34:00.001-05:00

Scooter Burn Out Attempt

2010-10-13T20:30:00.001-05:00

In Fishing News...

2010-10-10T10:41:00.002-05:00

"I caught you a delicious bass."

It's About Time She Starts Carrying Her Weight

2010-10-10T10:40:00.001-05:00

Me Make Beer

2010-10-07T13:31:00.003-05:00

Now that I'm retired, I figure I have both the time and desire to brew and drink lots of beer.

I've always been intrigued with the beer brewing process, but never had the time or expertise to pull it off myself. I've had some pretty shitty homebrews, and I didn't want to be the guy that makes his friends drink his shitty beer. My sister's boyfriend started homebrewing, as did one of my coworkers, and their beer was delicious. I got inspired.

A couple of wonderful folks gave me money for my birthday to put towards some brewing equipment. I bought everything I needed, but still had no idea what I was doing. Fortunately, my co-worker let me tag along while he brewed a batch so I could learn the ropes. It seemed pretty simple.

I was originally planning to wait until this weekend to brew my first batch, but I got impatient last night and decided it was time. The sooner I start, the sooner I'm drinking, right? Right.

The first thing I did was kill all my yeast by accidentally dumping it into boiling water. Fuck.

Fortunately, I read somewhere that one should always have a spare packet of yeast on-hand. Finally, following instructions pays off!

I boiled my wort and was super anal about monitoring the time and temperature to be sure I did everything right. It was actually kind of stressful, because clearly I am a big lame-o.

I then cooled the wort using my new wort chiller. Sweet, huh? Yes, that copper coil thing is one of the sweetest brewing accessories on the market.

So, now it's (hopefully) fermenting in my basement. I'm not really used to hobbies where I have to wait 4 weeks to see results, so this is a new experience for me.

The best thing about brewing is that all of the equipment I needed cost as much as one set of pedals for my track bike.

I was planning to set up a keg system so I wouldn't have to deal with bottles, but thought that may be getting a bit ahead of myself. Maybe we should see how this first batch turns out first.

So I'm Old Now

2010-10-05T09:27:00.005-05:00

[note: pics at the bottom if you don't care what I have to say]

To start out, you should know that my wife has never once, in her life, surprised me. I've always known what she's getting me for birthdays, Christmas, and anniversaries. In short, she is not very sneaky. She's also not very good on the computer.

So, imagine my shock when she was able to pull off a surprise 30th birthday party for me! Using EVites, nonetheless!

In the back of my mind, I guess I knew it was a possiblity, but there were no signs that it was going to happen. We went out to dinner with Franz and Julie and then were going to head to the martini bar. When we left the house, I thought, "I wonder if she's getting me out of here so people can come over and surprise me when we get home." But then I looked around and thought, "Our house is a fucking mess, Kristin would never let anyone come over here with it looking like this."

We went to eat at White Horse and had a seat right by the window. About halfway through dinner, my friend Luke walked by outside. I thought it was a bit odd to see him there, but we called him in off the street and determined that he was in town to see his girlfriend.

I still had no clue.

We finished eating and made our way to the martini bar, where I was surprised by about 30 of my friends and family. I almost had a pregnant! My immediate reaction was to turn to Kristin, Franz, and Julie, and yell, 'You suck!" Classy.

We then proceeded to have a fabulous night. It was so much fun to hang out and consume girly drinks with everyone. I felt like shit in the morning, but it was totally worth it!

I had a couple Key Lime martinis, some smart-ass (*cough-Jeremy-cough*) ordered me a Flirtini, and I also had something called a Curious Cucumber. We also had lots of delicious food, which I was too full to eat.

Pics with no commentary:

Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

2010-09-30T08:27:00.001-05:00

I Think I May Have Just Made A Mature Decision...

2010-09-29T15:00:00.004-05:00

As I've mentioned before, I've been forever lusting after a Jeep Wrangler. I even found the awesomest awesome ever. I almost had a pregnant when I beheld it!
I've also been having visions of driving one of those new 4-door pickups.
Think of all the amazing thing I could (but wouldn't) do! The offroading, the towing, the hauling. Ya know, man stuff. *Sigh*

Since my 30th birthday is coming up in less than a week (holy shit!), my wife ~~evidently lost her mind~~ decided to surprise me by giving me the go-ahead to get a new vehicle. I'd been dreaming of this day, but sadly became quite depressed once reality sunk in. I'm a cheap bastard, and I can't believe how expensive vehicles are. Plus, I love the idea of not having a car payment.

Even though a Jeep had been one of my dream cars, I had to eliminate it from contention because it's completely impractical and makes absolutely no sense as a daily driver. Also, fuckers are expensive.

I started looking at trucks and came to a similar conclusion. I've got 2 kids, which necessitates a crew cab ($$$$$), I can't stand cloth upholstery so it's gotta have leather ($$$$$), and I also wanted less than 50,000 miles ($$$$$). I really like the Nissan Titans, and they are actually rather reasonably priced, but I just couldn't do it.

I already have a decent SUV with a V8 and leather, and couldn't justify spending $25K on something only marginally better. And that's for trucks that are 3-4 years old! Don't even get me started on the new ones! I can't fathom why anyone would pay what new vehicles cost. No wonder the auto industry is in the shitter.

So, yeah, I blew my big chance to get a pimp new ride. But ya know what? I'm OK with that. With the money I'm saving, I can take care of a couple other things I've been dreaming of, like a zero-turn mower and a shed. I know, dream big, right?

This is pretty much the most practical thing I've ever done in my life. Aw, fuck, I am getting old!

Photos From MTB Race

2010-09-28T10:39:00.000-05:00

Untitled from Kyia Anderson on Vimeo.

I Belong To A Family Of Winners

2010-09-27T08:52:00.001-05:00

Who knew?

Despite shitty weather, the mountain bike race was actually really fun. I won the Clydesdale division (go fatty!), Franz won the 45-49 division, and Max won the kids race!

My starting wave consisted of men 30-39 and Clydesdales. The race started with about half a mile of grass riding before we hit the trail. I got in with the front group of 5, and when I realized that none of them were big enough to be in the Clydesdale division, I decided I would just ride wheels and have some fun.

I was a little disappointed with the way some people raced. One guy who was in front of me was an awful bike handler, but refused to let anyone pass. Since the course was pretty slick and muddy, he went down in several of the hairpin turns. He would then spring to his feet and hold his bike sideways across the trail while he remounted in order to keep anyone from passing. The problem was, he had decent fitness and would drop the hammer every time the trail opened up, so it was really hard to get by him.

I finally got tired of trying and just decided to let him lead, since there was no one within visual distance behind us. The three riders in front of us were out of sight and figured knew they wouldn't be seen again. At this point we started catching a lot of the slower riders from the previous wave, who also didn't want to move over, and I finally found a chance to get around the dude.

OK, enough bitching.

After a few minutes I caught another rider from my wave and rode his wheel the final couple miles to the finish, where I was nearly outsprinted when I tried to take the inside line out of the woods and my rear tire lost traction.

Franz was the first finisher in his wave, and came in a couple minutes after me to win his age group.

He's like a real-life anatomy lesson.

Later in the day, I brought Max and Addi back for the kids race, which was about 1/4 mile on the grass trail. All the kids got T-shirts, medals, and swag from Shimano, which they thought was really cool.

Max won the race, and Addi rode pretty damn well for a 4-year-old. I'll post pics of them when I find my damn camera.

I honestly don't remember having this much FUN at a cycling even in several years. There were medals for every itty-bitty division, people on the microphone that kept the spectators engaged, a fantastic atmosphere, and fun stuff for family members to do. Even the Elite competitors seemed really laid-back and friendly.

I'm also quite enamored with the Clydesdale division.

Major props to Kris, Kyia, Ben, and the rest of the Mid MN Cycling Club for all the work they put in to make it a successful weekend.

I went to spectate at the cyclocross race on Sunday, and it looked like an awful lot of work. Those dudes are nuts. I did this race a couple years ago. Ouch.

Now I need to get my muddy-ass bike cleaned up for the Monday Night MTB Ride tonight...if my lights showed up yet (grrrrrrr).

What Are You So Happy About?

2010-09-25T10:37:00.001-05:00

This is gonna suck.

MTB Categorization

2010-09-22T09:15:00.002-05:00

I've got a question for all you mountain bikers out there. Franz is trying to convince me to do the Single Track Escape mountain bike race on Saturday, but I'm not sure which category is appropriate.

Franz has registered for the ~~sandbagger~~ Citizen class, and I'm imagining a field full of women and children. I know traditionally, beginner mountain bike categories are not the same as Cat 4/5 races on the road.

The next level up, Sport, is 14 miles, and I'm not entirely convinced I can even ride that far without falling over dead.

Please advise.

Totally Never Drinking Again

2010-09-20T13:07:00.004-05:00

Overall, I had a great weekend. Unfortunately, some heavy drinking on Saturday night really kicked my ass and made Sunday rather miserable.

I had a good ride at North Loop on Friday night. I brought Bandit with me, but I don't know if I'll bring him there again. There are too many squirrels and deer for him to chase. It gets annoying to call him back every 2 minutes. Plus, now that there are deer hunters out there, I'd rather he not get shot.

Anyway, I got in two laps, and I'm actually feeling a lot smoother on my bike. I determined that my biggest problem was that I would brake too late and end up trying to scrub off speed in the middle of the turn. This causes the bike to want to be upright, which caused me to go too wide on the turns and thus, suck. I'm getting a little better, but I've still got some work to do. I also need to work on focusing my vision further up the trail, instead of 5 feet in front of my wheel.

I tried to ride the Expert section, but it was a nasty mud-pit so I bailed on that. I still got a bit dirty, though.

Saturday night, we went to a get-together with my wife's coworkers. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I was ~~kinda~~ really hammered. I could only remember having 4 drinks, but good 'ol Kristin reminded me that I'd had an additional 8 that I somehow forgot about. Whoops. Since Franz and I had a date (*snicker*) to go mountain biking in Monticello the next morning, I sent him a text explaining that I was fucked up and would not be ready to go at 8:30 AM.

Sunday morning, he texted me back, informing me that I needed to suck it up and he would be over to pick me up in 15 minutes. I somehow managed to drag my ass out of bed and get ready to go, and we made our way to Monti. Despite the cold temps, I was sweating like a pig for the first half hour. I guess that's one way to get booze out of my body! I didn't crash or anything, but I was a bit of a mess.

I've never ridden in Monticello and not gotten lost. This time was no different. We actually ended up finding the tar road and taking that back to the parking lot because we had no clue where we were or where we should be going. If anyone knows their way around that place and wants to guide me, lemme know.

We also saw the biggest fucking mushroom ever. So there's that.

We got home just in time to see the Vikings suck a fat dolphin cock, and I was completely worthless for the rest of the day. I took a nap in the afternoon and then went to bed at 10PM.

I was planning to do the Monday Night MTB Ride tonight, but my new lights haven't arrived yet, so I guess I'm out of luck.

Spinner Hub Caps. Hot.

2010-09-20T09:46:00.000-05:00

Great Seats, Asshole

2010-09-19T01:39:00.000-05:00

A couple weeks ago, a received a call from an excited Bodacious P, declaring that he had procured "upper level, but still really good seats" to the Vikings' final preseason game. Did I want to go? Hell yeah, I wanted to go!

After a stop at Tickles, which I totally didn't know was a gay bar, we headed to the game.

We received a call from another friend who was at the game and had seats on the lower level, right above the tunnel that the players run out of. I asked P why we didn't have lower lever seats. P declared, "Well, they're in the corner! I'd way rather be upper level than lower level in the corner." Lo and behold, when we found our seats, they were upper level and in the corner! And a mere 4 rows from the very tippy-top of the 'dome.

I made him buy me a $10 beer to make up for it.

Like, Knee Tendons?

2010-09-18T09:36:00.001-05:00

Mmmmmm.

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This Is Why...

2010-09-17T14:25:00.001-05:00

...Cav fucking rocks.
Nothing says, "I'm waaaaaay faster than you" like bunny-hopping over the finish line. It's also possible that he's actually flying, though it seems unlikely.

More Stuff For Sale

2010-09-17T09:40:00.000-05:00

I've got some more goodies for sale. There's a 'Contact Me' link over there --> on the right side of the blog. Hit me up if you're interested.

Cane Creek Volos track wheels. These were my training wheels for the last few years. They are light, stiff, and super-durable. Tufo tires mounted, both with 90% or more tread remaining. These are in great shape and are ready to ride. $175

Cane Creek Volos Road Wheels, Shimano freehum, Sapim Cx Ray spokes. Just in time for Cx season! They have a claimed weight of just over 1500 grams and are incredibly durable. I've had them for a couple years but they have less than 1000 miles on them. $250
Fi'zi:k Arione k:ium. Brand new. $90.
NiteRider Classic Plus lights. The battery is a bit weak, but should last over an hour with only one of the bulbs on. If you can use it for something, it's cheap. $20
Giro Advantage 2 helmet. Only used a handful of times. Like-new condition. $75
Boys 16" Giant Animator bike. $50
Kids Radio Flyer Grow & Go bike. $30.
Any questions, let me know!

That's A Funny Place To Keep A Mouse

2010-09-16T11:34:00.001-05:00

When I pulled into my parking spot at work this morning, I noticed some movement out of the corner of my eye.

Then I looked closer...

He gave me a look that said, "Where the hell am I?" then scurried through a crack near the hood hinges and down into the engine compartment, where I can only assume he's eating all the belts and wires.

Unintentional iCup

2010-09-16T08:13:00.003-05:00

My dishwasher made this for me.

It looks suspiciously like...

At Least They'll Look Nice In The Basement

2010-09-15T15:55:00.000-05:00

For some reason, I always seem to buy cool shit at just the wrong time. It's a good thing I've got these bad-ass wheels now that it's the offseason!

Scurvy built me up some durable road wheels to better handle my sprinting. Plus, Chris King hubs are just plain cool.

I've actually had these wheels in my possession for about a month, but didn't put them on my bike until today for 3 reasons:

1. I'm lazy.

2. I haven't really ridden my road bike in the last month.

3. It takes me like 2 hours to swap out two tires and a cassette. No joke.

At this rate, I might actually ride on them by next June.

I Haz Shame

2010-09-15T12:33:00.001-05:00

I just bought Crocs.

Fuck off, I've got my reasons.

But still, I own Crocs. *hides face* Don't look at me!

Too Slow

2010-09-15T10:42:00.003-05:00

It took over 10 minutes to pump 17 gallons of gas. Every time I come here, the pumps are ridiculously slow. How its that even possible?

Hell, I could siphon it by mouth faster than that! At first, I thought it was a one-time thing, but this is the 4th time.

I will not be back.

Cenex, you are making it very difficult to avoid going to BP stations.

Sneaky Lunch Ride

2010-09-14T14:16:00.004-05:00

I snuck out of work at lunch today, picked up Bandit, and headed to Plum Creek to get a few laps in. I've been off the bike for so long that my sit-bones were sore from last night's ride! Weak.

I wore my incognito kit...ya know, in case I need to should obscenities at people or flip someone off.

I rode two full laps before discovering that my headset was loose. Or so I thought. After walking my bike out to the main road and back to the car I found that, in fact, my quick-release had come loose. That could have been bad.

Bandit loooooooves biking with me. See, he's smiling!

Once, when my wife was rollerblading with him, some bitch commented that it was cruel to make a dog run like that. Instead of calling her a stupid-ass cuntwhorebitch like I would have, Kristin simply said, "Well I guess you've never owned a terrier before, so maybe you should mind your own business." How diplomatic!

I get annoyed by those people who always seems to know what everyone else should do. Especially when it comes to kids and pets. Hell, people know eeeeeeverything about child-rearing until they have kids of their own (I know I sure did!), at which point they find out that all their well-thought-out theories go straight to shit. So, unless you know exactly what someone else is dealing with, shut the fuck up. That goes for me, too.

Wow, that escalated quickly.

Anyway, back home, it's nap-time for man and beast.

In light-buying news, I've decided on the JetLites Blast HID, and will likely be placing the order later today. Hopefully they ship fast! I'm going to start with a helmet-mounted light and see how it goes, then add a bar-mounted light later if I feel like it's necessary.

Night Ride

2010-09-14T09:20:00.002-05:00

I'm fairly certain my lights should be brighter than this after only 40 minutes of riding.

The Monday Night MTB Ride was hella fun last night. I rode pretty sloppily, considering it was my first time on a mountain bike this year and it was dark. We had a good sized group of 9, and I was bar far the suckiest. It sucks to be the suckiest, but it wasn't really unexpected. I never crashed, but that's likely because I was going too slow to crash. It seemed like I lost half a bike length on every turn. I guess I got some improvin' to do.

Nearly everyone else on the ride had big pimpin' lights that lit up the trail like it was fucking daytime, and my shitty orange lights died halfway through the first lap, which sucked. I was able to finish the lap by getting between a couple other riders, but couldn't do a second lap like I wanted.

Thanks to Mike, Franz, and Ben for shepherding me home.

I've enlisted the help of my most trusted advisor to find me some new lights before next week's ride, where I'll likely need to come up with a different excuse for sucking. Luke makes shit happen.

Franz was rocking his new (to him) Superfly 29'er. I think he's been converted to the ways of big-wheeled bikes.

I'm going to try to get out a couple times this week to hone my skills before next week. I'm on a quest to not be the guy everyone has to wait for. Lofty goals, indeed.

Deep Thoughts From My Employer

2010-09-14T09:01:00.003-05:00

If one friend buys you a beer, and another friend shits on your carpet, the behavior of the first friend is preferable.

My Lights Are Charging

2010-09-13T14:19:00.005-05:00

Despite being laughably out of shape, I'm going to hit up the Monday Night MTB Ride at North Loop tonight. The fact that the ride is in the dark plays to my favor, since no one can get going too fast. Except those assholes with the halogen lights that actually work effectively. We'll have to put them at the back.

I really enjoy mountain biking, even though I kind of suck at it. In fact, that's how I got my introduction to cycling. I've even done a few races. My first-ever race was the Boo Blast in Monticello. I raced with the Beginners, since I figured that's what I was. I won that race by over 5 minutes and got berated by the promoter for sandbagging. I was certain I was the second coming of Ned Overend.

So, in my next race I entered the Sport category and got my ass absolutely handed to me. I decided to try to go with the leaders on the first lap (because I was an amazing cyclist!) and completely blew to shit. I ended up finishing behind an overweight woman on a Huffy. I also crashed and cracked my helmet. Preeeeeetty sure I got a concussion there.

I've been on two separate trips to Colorado and Utah, which were amazing. I'd love to go again, but that drive is a major deterrent.

Since I'm selling much of my track racing equipment, I've had visions of upgrading my mountain bike with some of the money. I wouldn't mind having a suspension fork, maybe some hydraulic disc brakes ( it has mechanical discs now), tubeless wheels/tires, and and upgraded light setup.

But then I think about how much I enjoy the simplicity of my current set-up. Maybe, for once in my life, I should just fuckin' ride?

Though, if I'm going to do these night rides, it would sure be nice to be able to see better. Maybe a helmet-mounted light is in order. I bought my current lights from Jim Bell for (I'm guessing) more than what he paid for them, and they kind of suck.

Fuck it, now I'm just rambling. See y'all tonight. I'll be the guy telling you to slow down.

Also, I still have a ton of shit for sale. I'd much rather sell it locally than deal with e-bay 'tards.

For Your Viewing Displeasure

2010-09-13T10:52:00.003-05:00

A poorly-composed picture of Franz wearing a faux-muscle skinsuit while seemingly fondling himself. I know you can't really see him, but fuck off. He's totally there.

Un-Retire From One, Retire From The Other

2010-09-10T10:59:00.005-05:00

Yeterday, I overheard some people talking about how great Tumblr is. I actually thought it sounded pretty sweet, too, so I went and signed up. It seemed like it would be fun, until I realized it's basically exactly like Blogger. I took this as a sign that maybe I should start blogging again. So here I am. And I've even got a new theme.

I may not post as often as I used to, but I get bored in the winter, so at least I'll be entertained. You fuckers need to start leaving comments, though.

I've also decided to retire from ~~cycling~~ racing. "But didn't you already retire," you ask? Not officially. So, I decided to officially retire from racing yesterday. I’ve really just got too much going on in my life right now. Maybe it’s something I could pick up again in the future, but for now, it’s just not in the cards.

I've been watching some old race videos, and it's making me rather nostalgic. This one's still my favorite:Ah, the good old days...

Thanks to everyone who supported/hated/watched/followed me over the years. I was a hell of a ride (pun intended).

I still plan to do plenty of mountain biking and group rides, so I'll still be around. I'll just be fatter and slower.

I've got an ergo for sale if anyone is interested.

In other news, I bought a new shirt the other day that I thought looked super good on me. Then I saw a photo of me wearing that shirt, and I had to throw the fucker in the garbage.

Oh, and also, I won't be posting for like 3 days. Ha!

Let's Put This Thing Out Of Its Misery, Shall We?

2010-08-18T14:16:00.000-05:00

State Match Sprints

2010-08-10T12:13:00.005-05:00

Anyone who has seen me race lately knows that I'm merely a shell of the sprinter I used to be, having lost the speed I once had due to lack of training and other commitments.

Prior to yesterday, I had been off the bike for nearly a month. I knew my chances were slim to even make the finals, but I figured I'd try anyway. My goal was to not embarrass myself, at which I believe I succeeded.

There were 10 racers, and I ended up qualifying 4th with an 11.91. My goal was just to break 12, so I'm calling that a win.

What followed was the world's longest fucking sprint tournament in the history of sprint tournaments. Obviously this would not bode well for me, being fat and out of shape.

We did 6 races just to eliminate 2 riders. That's a lotta work.

In the first round of the quarterfinals, I was matched up against Dan Schueller. I knew he'd try to go long on me, and in the first race, he did just that. I timed my sprint perfectly and beat him by half a wheel at the line. Unfortunately, the effort of chasing him down for 2 laps absolutely destroyed me. I was throwing up in my mouth and shit. It was gross. In our second race, he jumped early again and I just let him go, opting to take the additional recovery time to get ready for the 3rd race. I drew first position, pinned Dan against the rail, and kept him there until the bell lap, then went full gas. On the homestretch, I thought I had a gap, but got the shit scared out of me when Dan pulled up alongside me and had to kick it down again to advance to the semifinals by the slimmest of margins.

In the semis, I had to race Franz first. He had qualified .6 faster than me and I knew I didn't have a chance in hell, so I raced rather half-heartedly to save my energy for the bronze-medal ride.

I raced Mike Hall for 3rd, and he had qualified less than .1 ahead of me. In our first race, he made a tactical error and I won pretty handily. At this point, I was absolutely destroyed, but feeling confident. He then proceeded to destroy me in two consecutive rides to take the final podium spot. He rode strong and deserved the win. He's been working his ass off this year and I haven't.

I was actually pretty pleased to have taken 4th, given my current condition. Sure, it would have been nice to get on the podium, but that bronze medal would have clashed with my two gold's anyway!

In all, the sprint tournament took 4 fucking hours. We then got to sit in traffic for an extra 90 minutes due to road construction, arriving home well after midnight. Today, I feel like I got hit by a truck. I ache all over and my stomach feels...funky. I need a nap.

Franz and Ferris made a spectacle out of the gold medal ride. In the first race, it was pretty much a straight-up drag race, with Ferris winning by inches on the line. In the second race, we witnessed 2 restarts. First, because Ferris clipped a pedal and slipped off the banking in turn 2, taking Franz down with him. Second, because Franz clipped out and put his food down during a trackstand. After the 2nd restart, there was nearly another crash when Ferris's front wheel rubbed Franz's rear, but he managed to stay up and we got to see another great race to the line, with Ferris taking the win, along with the gold medal.

Well done, everyone.

Furious Bandit

2010-08-08T11:12:00.001-05:00

Isn't he precious?

My Everything Hurts

2010-08-05T11:19:00.002-05:00

I'm so fucking sore I could hardly get out of bed this morning. My legs and ass hurt from Plyos, and my upper body hurts from the Chest/Back and Shoulders/Arms workouts. On the plus side, I've somehow managed to lose 4 pounds in 3 days.

However, I've been sleeping like shit. I would have thought that when I'm super exhausted from working out I would sleep well. Not the case. I wake up roughly 10 times each night, and feel like shit in the morning.

Maybe I'm working out too late at night. Not much I can do about that, since the only other option is to work out in the morning, and fuck if I'm getting up early. Maybe my body just needs to get used to it. Yeah, that's it.

Extreme Home Fitness.

2010-08-04T10:03:00.005-05:00

Due to extenuating circumstances, I haven't been able to bike as much as I'd like. I'm still concerned about my health and fitness, but was having trouble getting myself motivated to work out in my basement at night.

Then Kristin convinced me to order P90X. I know you've seen all the commercials and thought, "What fucking ever". So did I. I've always pretty much believed that "those" workout programs are designed to give false hope to fatties. But, what the hell. Why not give it a shot.

When the box arrived at our door and I started reading the literature, it actually started to seem legit. You are asked to pass a "fit test" before beginning the program and, surprisingly, the bar is set relatively high.

What really sold me, though, was during the first workout where Tony Horton says, "Some of this is high-impact. I know it's not very popular right now, but if you want real results that will equate to better athletic performance, this is what you do. You train like an athlete." Or something like that.

So I'm gonna try it. Here's my "before" picture.
Not terrible, but a little soft around the edges.

I've so far been doing the program for 2 days, and I'm sore as all hell. After the Chest & Back workout, I had to lay on the floor for over 30 minutes to recover. The plyometric workout went a bit better, but I was still absolutely cooked at the end. I nearly fell down the stairs this morning when my legs gave out on me.

The workouts are truly ass-kicking.

This probably sounds like a commercial for P90X, and that's not really my intention. There are some things I don't like about the program, too.

First, Tony Horton is kind of a douche. The videos are almost hard to watch at some points. Several times I've actually said, "Fuck off" to the TV.

Also, the meal plan is nearly impossible to follow. I mean, who the hell is able to cook themselves salmon, wild rice, and green beans for lunch when they're at work? They offer some alternative options, but I mostly had to take their plan as a template and design my own using foods with similar nutritional qualities but less prep time.

Finally, the workouts go on for-fucking-ever. I mean, I know the idea behind the program is to beat you into shape, but it seems that a 90-minute yoga workout could have been accomplished in less time for similar results.

That's all I've got so far, but I will update my progress here. If nothing else, at least it gives me something to blog about.

Sandhill Cranes In My Yard

2010-08-02T09:33:00.000-05:00

Bed Shopping. Yay?

2010-07-30T17:15:00.000-05:00

Thoughts And Ramblings On The 2010 TDF

2010-07-26T10:07:00.004-05:00

Did anyone notice that there wasn't a single doping violation (yet) during the Tour? It's about damn time they get some undetectable drugs. Sheesh!

I was thoroughly underwhelmed by ChainGate. If Schleck had done the same thing to Contador, no one would have said shit. Everyone is hung up on calling Contador an asshole because, well, he really just seems like kind of an asshole.

Prior to Stage 4, the commentators did a segment called "What's Wrong With Cavendish?". Seriously? He didn't dominate the first 3 stages and immediately there's something wrong with him? Listen, fuckwits, there's like 50 people trying to win the sprint. You can't be in a perfect position every fucking time. He's the best sprinter Le Tour has ever seen. Oh yeah, did you notice he won 5 FUCKING STAGES? There is nothing wrong with Cav.

Who is Tyler Farrah? I've only seen Tyler Farrar, and I have a hard time believing his last name is pronounced "Fay-rah". I also have a hard time believing he's the next great sprinter.

Lance sure sucked, huh?

When will the world give up on Cadel Evans winning the Tour? WHEN?!?!?!?!?

What the fuck happened to Wiggins?

Ryder Hesjedal kicked major ass.

Petacchi. Huh? I thought he was like 50?

Something about seeing Vino attack just pissed me off. I was actually happy when Contador chased him down and took the win from him.

All the other hopefuls need to be able to climb with Schleck and Contador, or we're going to have a future of boring, 2-man races where they work together on hard mountain stages and hug a lot.

That's all I've got.

Best Cake Ever.

2010-07-22T11:52:00.001-05:00

So Long, Matty!

2010-07-21T09:48:00.002-05:00

Here's a horrible fucking picture of the going away party we had for Matt Williams last night. Matt has been a fixture in the MN cycling scene for years and is moving to Bend, Oregon on Sunday. He'll be missed.

Matt and I started riding at around the same time, and believe it or not, he used to not be able to drop me. It didn't last long, but it was sweet.

I shall leave you with a video Matt sent me this very morning.

I Have Little To Say

2010-07-20T10:05:00.001-05:00

New Pimp Phone

2010-07-16T10:48:00.003-05:00

I have, in the past, expressed my anger with Motorola for failing to give the Cliq with an upgrade to Android 2.1. They promised an updated in Q2 of 2010. Well, June came and went with no upgrade. Then they gave us some bullshit about putting off their release date to provide a better user experience. That's marketing speak for "this ain't happenin'".

Well, fuck it, I'm sick of it. I can't even use the nice, free, turn-by-turn direction with old-ass Android 1.5. Lame.

Since I'm still under contract with T-Mobile, and I refuse to pay $400 to get out of it, I'm going to be paying retail price for the new Samsung Vibrant. My co-worker got one yesterday, and my jealousy got the best of me. It comes with Android 2.1 and 2.2 is already scheduled. I was hesitant to buy a touch-screen phone (loves me my keyboard!), but after using Swype, I think it will be even faster than typing.

The phone ain't cheap, but I can sell my Cliq to offset some of the cost. Plus, the idea that I'm not further locking myself into a contract makes it worthwhile for me. Plus, no fucking MotoBlur.

I'll give a review of the phone after some time with it, but for now I'm just giddy as can be at the idea of not dealing with Motorola anymore. I will never again give my business to them, because they obviously don't give a shit about supporting their products. I encourage everyone else to do the same.

Renshaw. Fuck Yeah.

2010-07-15T13:45:00.004-05:00

I don't agree at all with the official's decision to DQ Renshaw from the Tour for this. From the stage? Maybe. You have to look at the intent. It sure doesn't look to me like he's trying to impede Julian Dean, just getting himself some space.

It's clear that Julian Dean is pushing Renshaw toward the barriers, likely trying to box in Cavendish. Since it's illegal to take your hands off the bars, Renshaw did what he could to get the fucker off of him. He clearly wasn't trying to crash the guy out. These guys ride their bikes for a living. They know how to give (and take) and little shove. Should you go do it in your next Cat 4 crit? Prolly not.

Shutting the door on Farrar was a dickish move, but I'm sure in Renshaw's mind, he was just returning the favor. The intent there was probably to impede him, and I would agree that he should perhaps be relegated from this particular stage in the race. But disqualification from the tour? Fuck off.

The most oblivious line of the day comes from Julian Dean: “And then he carried on afterwards and came across on Tyler’s line and stopped Tyler from possibly winning the stage."

Is there anyone out there who believes that Tyler was going to win that stage? Really?

I know the announcers pander to the American audience and try to get us to rally behind him, and he's a pretty likable guy, actually. But Tyler Farrar will not win a stage in this tour. Just like last year.

Lance probably won't, either.

I'm sure glad Renshaw gave us some excitement today, because the GC race is about as boring as can be now. WTF, they're working together? Yay?

Maybe the race for 3rd will be kick-ass.

Guess Who Didn't* Get Dropped

2010-07-14T09:37:00.005-05:00

[photos stolen in a most belligerent fashion from Kyia]

I attended my first Tuesday Night Group Ride of the year, and - I gotta be honest - I was a little worried. Those guys generally hammer the hills and leave me in their dust.

Fortunately, they took it a bit easier last night, which was much appreciated. I actually tripled my longest ride of the year, which sounds impressive until you realized that my longest ride of the year was 48 minutes.

I was able to hang during all the accelerations and didn't even get dropped on any of the (relatively small) hills. I even won a couple sprints, which were uncontested for the most part.

With about 15 miles to go in the ride, I got a front flat. Ben and Mike were nice enough to wait for me. As soon as we started riding again, we realized that my rear tire was going flat. Since the leak appeared to be slow, I kept riding. When I got home, the tire was down to 55 psi. Squishy.

My bike actually shifted relatively well, except for a couple times when I jumped for sprints. So there's that.

I came to a couple realizations during the ride. First, that riding can be more fun than training. Second, that I may have rushed my "comeback" a bit. The realization that my longest ride till now had been 48 minutes (due to the fact that my hip would get sore after anything longer), combined with the expectation that I should be able to keep up with the Cat 1/2 field...well, it just doesn't compute.

It does me little good to be able to sprint really fast for 6 seconds when I don't even have the fitness to wind up properly for a flying 200.

So, for the rest of the year, I'm just going to ride. I'm going to have fun with it. I'll race some, sure, but just for fun. I've got to get my fitness back up and the fun-factor has to be there, which it currently isn't. I can work on tactics and work to get in shape, but any long-term goals are being put on hold. The pressure is making this whole cycling thing suck.

*OK, technically I did get dropped, but it was because of a flat tire.

Suck

2010-07-14T08:25:00.001-05:00

I've been sitting at work in my car for over 15 minutes because I don't want to get wet.

I know, I'm cool.

Baby Killdeer

2010-07-13T16:40:00.000-05:00

Look closer...

Closer...
For some damn reason, a killdeer laid her eggs in the pea-rock of our playground. Every time we go near it, she flops around on the ground like this.
Well, after keeping the kids away for nearly a month, the babies finally hatched 2 days ago. This morning, they were gone, and the nest was covered up. It must be stressful to be a ground bird.

Fine, Do It Yourself

2010-07-12T14:53:00.000-05:00

Cross-Training

2010-07-12T10:19:00.002-05:00

So, my wife convinced me to go jogging with her over the weekend, and I'm still sore. I'm far too fat to carry my own weight for anything faster than a brisk walk.

We also put the kids on their bikes and did a nice, long rollerblade ride yesterday.

And I went swimming (and didn't sink!).

The one thing all these activities taught me (besides the fact that I'm grossly out of shape) is that my lung capacity sucks. It felt like I couldn't get a full breath, especially when swimming. I guess I have to do lung exercises or some shit. Lame.

I did manage to get in some decent miles on my poorly-shifting road bike, which was nice. Riding early in the morning or later in the evening was actually quite peaceful. I need to try to get to a couple Tuesday night hammer-fests to beat myself into shape...until I get dropped after 30 minutes. Maybe if I was more important, they'd wait for me?

Upgrade Time!

2010-07-09T09:03:00.005-05:00

I sold my carbon road wheels on E-Bay, so now I need to do some upgrades to my road bike. I love the bike, but I don't think the 105 components can quite handle me. I've had the dérailleurs adjusted several times, and it still skips gears every time I do an out-of-the-saddle jump, even at 80%. It's gotten to the point that I don't even like riding it, which is a shame because it's fucking awesome.

So, I'm hoping that upgrading the shift/brake levers and rear dérailleur to Ultegra will remedy the issue. Who knows, maybe it's just the dérailleur. Maybe I should try that first.

I'm also thinking about upgrading my wheels. I'm riding the Cane Creek Volos right now, and they're actually pretty sweet. They weigh just over 1500 grams and are relatively stiff, but they don't look super-cool. When you only ride a bike a couple times a month, looking super-cool is imperative. I've pretty much stopped paying attention to road components, so I don't don't what's cool anymore. Ksyriums used to be pretty much king shit. Are they still?

Lastly, and it pains me to say it, I may have to swap out my Cav-wannabe Pro bars. I need something with a flatter top and better transition to the shifters. My fat hands keep falling asleep.

Weekend Recap

2010-07-07T21:36:00.002-05:00

I had a helluva weekend, and I'm still exhausted.

We spent the weekend at Franz's cabin, and were plenty busy wakeboarding, tubing, biking, drinking, and chillin'.

I nearly landed my wakeboard flip, but instead had several massive wipeouts, which I'm sure were exciting for everyone except me. I'm gonna land that fucker one of these days.

We had a good bike workout on Sunday, and Franz even did a double workout on Monday while I nursed my wounds. My sinuses were so trashed from crashing on the water that I could barely breathe. Almost totally worth it.

When I got home, I had a lot of TdF coverage to catch up on, and I gotta say this is the most exciting first week I've seen in the 7 years I've been watching. I don't think Lance's chances (hey, that rhymes!) are very good after yesterday, but them's the breaks. He had 7 years of the best luck anyone could ever have.

I'm sure I'm forgetting something, but, like I said, we drank a lot.

What's So Unusual About It?

2010-07-06T14:25:00.001-05:00

TNL Recap

2010-07-02T08:58:00.006-05:00

I sucked.

There, now that that's out of the way, here are the details. The national team sprinters from Trinidad and Tobago were there, and it really changed the dynamic of the races. In the first race, a15-lap scratch race, no one seemed to know what to do. It was kind of a clusterfuck for the first 5-6 laps. I picked the biggest Toboggan (I was calling them The Trini's, but didn't want to slight Tobago) and held his wheel. Evidently, these guys are pure sprinters, because he got popped off the back on the second acceleration. I tried to close the gap and chased by myself for about 4 laps before the field lapped me. Weak, I know.

A note to all those who give me shit for sucking in everything except sprint races (ok, ok, I suck in those too, but I used to not) and skipping the long races: The Toboggans all got dropped in the 15-lap race, but they rode a 44-second Team Sprint a few weeks ago at the Pan Am games. We can't all be all-rounders. Proof that if you want to be really good at something, you gots ta specialize.

I fucked up my keirin heat and failed to make the finals. I had a good start and was riding 3rd wheel. As soon as the motor pulled off, Bergman came over the top from the back. I hopped on his wheel, figuring he would pull me to the front. Inexplicably, gap opened up behind the leader, Njisine Phillip (they call him 'J'), and Bergman filled it, leaving me pushing wind on the outside. I dropped back to 4th position and sat in for a lap, then attacked with one to go. There was a stiff headwind on the homestretch, and I pushed hard to draw even with J coming into turn 1. Then he kicked 'er down and motored away, dragging the other 2 riders with him. I tried one more time coming into the final turn, but didn't have enough left to come around.

Actually, it felt good to be hindered by tactics instead of fitness (or lack thereof). Tactics are a lot easier to fix.

The keirin final consisted of the 3 dudes from Trinidad, the 2 dudes from Texas Roadhouse, and Ferris. Guess who went 1-2-3? Them fellers are fast! I got video of the race, but my phone is being a cocksucker, so I'll try to upload it later.

I had gotten to the track at around 4, and it was over 90 degrees, so I was cooked. I had also had a stressful day at work and was having some stomach issues, so I headed home. I wilt like a dandelion baking in the sun when it's hot out.

That is all.

A Wee Bit O' Progress

2010-07-01T11:59:00.003-05:00

Franz and I went to the track for Developmental Time Trials on Monday, and my expectations were low. I mostly just wanted to get some track time.

Warm-up went well and I was feeling pretty good, but there was a stiff headwind on the backstretch, which generally means slower times. I had made a deal with myself (gotta have incentive) that if I didn't break 11.5, I would ride a pursuit.

My first flying 200 felt fast and I finished strong, but my time was a mediocre 11.83. I got in line to go again, and this time rolled an 11.78. Hell, any progress is good news at this point!

The best part was that I feel like my fitness is improving and I was putting down power all the way to the line.

Not being one to make deals I don't keep, I lined up for my pursuit. Since I'm a Masters racer now, I was doing the 3k. My goal was to ride 20-seconds laps. I succeeded in that for the first 5 laps, until I realized that I was less than halfway done. So I backed off a little. Then a little more. Then a little more, until I was getting passed by caterpillars in the infield grass.

I finished well over the 4-minute mark, but it was a good experience nonetheless. And hey, I even beat a couple people!

Racing tonight should be fun. Some fasties from the Trinidad and Tobago national team are in Blaine training, so hopefully they'll grace us with their presence.

I Am Handy As Fuck

2010-06-30T19:58:00.001-05:00

I replaced this busted-ass starter selenoid in my boat. By myself. And it worked. Holy shit.

Handsome Half-Haircut

2010-06-30T19:55:00.001-05:00

Only In St. Cloud

2010-06-30T08:41:00.000-05:00

This tiny 4-wheeler, which was likely designed for a single 10-year-old, was occupied by 2 grown adults. They were pulling this leaky gas can - and their two small children - in this wagon with a wheel that was about to fall off. All so they could make a family stop at Fantasy Gifts. Yes, it's the kind of store you think it is.

Buy/Take My Stuff

2010-06-28T21:30:00.003-05:00

I realize it would have been easier if I had gone through all my stuff before the bike swap, but that's life. I've got some stuff for sale, and some stuff for free. All you cheapskates, free stuff's at the bottom. Here we go:

Brand new 2010 Shimano 105 double crankset, 172.5mm length. $125.
Specialized Comp MTB shoes, size 45. Used very sparingly. $20.
Cranks Bros. Candy SL pedals. Used for maybe 5 mountain bike rides. Cleats included. ~~$40~~ SOLD.

Two pairs of older shimano MTB pedals, used but functional. $10/pair.

Surly Fixxer, new in bag. $30.
Black Salsa Goma handlebar tape, brand new. $5
Dura Ace 9-speed front downtube shifter, brand new. $5.
Profile Century aerobars, used for a couple of triathlons. Includes computer mount. $15.
Rav-X Swift X saddles, brand new. Didn't fit my tushy. These have the same dimensions as a Fi'zi:k Arione. $30 each.Tufo S3 Pro tubular tires, brand new. $50 each.
Planet Bike fenders. Yes, they're pretty. Used for a month or so of commuting. $10.

From here on out, it's all free. You can pick it up at my house or I can bring it to the track next time I'm there.

Old-ass avid rim brakes.

ITM handlbars. 25.4 clamp area, 42cm width. Used one season.
Sette ergo bars. Used 2 weeks. 25.4cm clamp area, 42cm width.
~~XT front shift/brake pod.~~ GONE.

Make offers on anything you think is overpriced. Hit the 'Contact Me' link over on the left side to send me an e-mail. I'll keep this post updated as things get sold, so if it says it's available, it's available. Don't e-mail me and ask if it's available.

Finally!

2010-06-28T13:00:00.000-05:00

Addi has been trying for weeks to ride without training wheels, and could never quite get it. Until this weekend.

We had lots of practice in the grass.

But she kept a good attitude and kept trying.

We tried pushing her, but she still couldn't quite get it.

Finally, we realized that she couldn't go straight because she was looking down at her front wheel. I ran in front of her and told her to keep her eyes on me, and off she went!

Have you ever seen anything cuter????

Then we celebrated.

Kid On A Leash

2010-06-27T14:20:00.001-05:00

Gotta love Granite City Days!

Sick Of This Shit

2010-06-25T09:40:00.002-05:00

Some of you may have noticed that I was missing for several days. That's because I was up in Canada fishing. I'll get to that later, but I've got some bitching to do.

Let it be said: T-Mobile fucking sucks. I've been with them for almost 10 years, back when they were Aerial, then VoiceStream, and finally T-Mobile. I've stayed with them because the prices are good, but I can't deal with their worthless service anymore.

Of the 9 people I was with in Canada, only those with T-Mobile didn't have service. In fact, we had to drive over 4 hour into North Dakota until my phone worked, and we were in Fargo before I had any data coverage.

This is unacceptable. What's the point of having a cell phone that never works anywhere? It's probably fine if you don't travel a lot, but I trek into the middle of nowhere too regularly.

Plus, they've really dropped the ball on their phones. The best phone they actually sell is still the Cliq, which is 8 months old. All the other carriers have new, pimp Android phones (or the defective iPhone 4, yippee!). And the fucking Cliq is still running Android 1.5, so I can't even run all the available apps.

Like I said, I'm sick of this shit.

So, I'm on a mission to get out of my contract. I tried calling and pleading my case, but they want $200 per line for early termination. Suckageawea. I think the only way to do it is to find someone to take over my plan...kinda like a sublease. Anyone interested? I'll throw in my Cliq for free.

Stunt Riding On A Carbon Road Bike

2010-06-24T12:53:00.001-05:00

I'm not quite so concerned about breaking my carbon frame anymore

Maybe I'd Be Faster If I Didn't Hold My Breath

2010-06-24T12:26:00.002-05:00

And maybe Franz would be faster if he did more bicep curls.

If You Wanna See What You Missed...

2010-06-18T09:58:00.003-05:00

Here's a video overview of the Fixed Gear Classic from NSCTv . The last half of the video is some golf shit, so you might wanna skip that.

Hey, I Remember You...

2010-06-16T23:18:00.006-05:00

I rode my road bike for the first time in months today. It felt awesome. I won't tell you how long I rode because it's rather shameful. OK, OK...I'll tell ya. I rode for 1 hour and 4 minutes. The last time I rode for over an hour, my hip was so sore I had to take almost a week off. Today, I feel great! This is encouraging.

Since the velcro on my good shoes went to shit, I had to use some older shoes. My feet were really bugging me during the ride, so I had to stop and adjust my cleats. I need new shoes. I'm thinking about some Bont a-two's, but will likely end up with a pair of Specialized. They're just so damn comfortable.

Oh, and this is what I look like after a road ride.

Awesome, right?

Then I came home and had to mow the lawn. We have a fucking swamp back there! Seriously, we've got mushrooms and shit!

For Sale

2010-06-15T13:25:00.007-05:00

Cane Creek 50mm carbon rims on Dura Ace hubs, laced up with Sapin Cx-Ray spokes. Vittoria Corsa Evo CX tubulars are glued on. BRAND NEW, NEVER RIDDEN.

This is a light, stiff set of wheels built using top-of-the-line components. Let's face it, I just don't need carbon road wheels. But guess who does...you! Hit me up if you're interested. Otherwise, they're going up on E-Bay next week.

I would consider partial trade for Ksyrium or similar in like-new condition.

This Is What I Look Like After Doing Intervals

2010-06-14T21:23:00.001-05:00

I wanted to ride outside today, but the rain wouldn't stop and I'll be damned if I'm getting my pretty bike wet. My love affair with the ergo has been rekindled.

Madison Warm-Up, Trinidad Style

2010-06-14T06:34:00.000-05:00

I dig Emile Abraham. He's one of my favorite pro bike racers. Here's why:

Dude's got some moves!

Much Better

2010-06-13T21:11:00.008-05:00

It's amazing how much of a difference an attitude adjustment can make. I had a great day today, despite sucking in my first race, and I even pulled out a win (with a little help, of course)!

I started out with a 6-lap sprint for 9th. My racing tactics have gone out the fuckin' window, and for some reason I felt that I had to close every gap myself, so I was cooked by the time I should have been sprinting for the line. I ended up getting 2nd-to-last. Yay.

So, there are a few things I need to work on desperately. Tactics and patience. I really paid close attention to what the best riders were doing today, and it sure ain't what I'm doing! I'm guessing (hoping) this will come back with more races. I used to have the killer instinct for this shit, I just need to find it again. A little endurance wouldn't hurt, either. And being less of a fatty.

I then sat around for like 5 hours until the Team Sprint. We ended up getting the win with a horse-shit time of 51.1. Our 3rd guy was overlapping my rear wheel a bit when I pulled up, so he had to backpedal and re-accelerate, which probably cost us a second or so. That could have ended badly. I felt like I faded pretty hard on my lap, but every effort I do will make me faster.

The racing was awesome today. Usually I get bored watching races I'm not in, but I was truly drawn in by the action today. 19-year-old superstar Boltin' Colton Barret kicked some serious ass, winning the men's overall endurance omnium. He's got a big future ahead of him. I'm not certain he realized how good he is. Colby Pearce took 2nd, and Adam Bergman took 3rd. It's nice to see the local guys score some results.

In the sprint omnium, Ferris took 3rd, Jason Garner took 2nd, and Matt Baronoski took the win. Here he is lying on the ground after the madison. I'm sure glad I didn't race that shit.

In the women's omnium, Cari Higgins dominated the whole weekend. Yep, that pretty much sums it up. Here's a shitty photo of the women's podium.

I came away from this weekend with a new motivation and several things to work on. It should be a fun summer. It feels good to have goals again.

After Some Consideration...

2010-06-12T22:59:00.003-05:00

I'm feeling a bit better about myself. I'm generally not the type of person who is encouraged by setbacks. Much the opposite, actually. I know that's not a good way to go through life, so I'm trying to have a more positive outlook and see that, hey, I've got nowhere to go but up, right?

I don't know what I was expecting, or why it's such a blow to me to have one bad time trial. Honestly, I've really just been going through the motions this Spring because my heart hasn't really been in it. Maybe it's leftover mental weirdness from my crash...I dunno. Today was a wake-up call that maybe I do care.

My coworker has this quote on his office wall:

"Happiness is reality divided by expectations. In order to be happy, either improve your reality or lower your expectations."

Since I'm not willing to lower my expectations, I guess I've got some thinking - and some work - to do.

Well, That Went Poorly

2010-06-12T19:56:00.003-05:00

If you had asked me to lay out a worst-case scenario for today, it would have been significantly better than the reality of my suckage.

The last time I did a flying 200 was at Elite Nationals in 2008, where I rode an 11.1. I figured I'd be a bit slower today, maybe 11.4 or 11.5.

I rode a 12.06 and didn't even make the top 8 that get into the sprint tournament. No shit. I've never failed to qualify for a sprint tournament, even at nationals. I can't even think of an excuse to justify it, and I'm usually awesome at excuses.

I have no clue what happened. My power has been on par with my best ever. I had a good warm-up, I felt strong, and my 200 felt relatively fast. Hell, I figured I could ride sub-12 with one foot. I guess not.

No one likes a sad sack, but I'm really pretty dejected and questioning whether or not I want to keep training to race at this level. I don't have the time or energy to train any harder than I am currently, and it's obviously not working.

Anyway...

We got rained out after 2 events today, so we went to Trader Joe's and then attending the rider's dinner, catered by Buca Di Beppo. Their food sure is a lot better at the restaurant.

Anyway, all the events got pushed till tomorrow. I'm not sure if I'm going to ride the "1 mile sprint for 9th". First of all, I think it's stupid to race for 9th. Secondly, 6 laps is no longer a sprint. I'll probably do it, but I won't be happy about it.

We've also got the Team Sprint, and our chances look pretty good. Our 3rd rider had the fastest flying 200 today by 3/10th of a second.

So, yeah, today sucked. On the plus side, I looked amazing once again. So there's that.

I'm hoping to find better form tomorrow. I'm not going to shave my legs, either. You can all be jealous of my manliness.

Sexy Bitches

2010-06-12T10:09:00.001-05:00

Built and glued by my fearless leader, Sickboy. Happy now?

FGC, Here I Come!

2010-06-11T22:53:00.004-05:00

I missed the first night of racing of the Fixed Gear Classic because today is my Max's 8th birthday. I'm not going to miss that to get my ass handed to me in a keirin.

I had read that someone would be live-tweeting the event, and was excited to check the results when I got home from Chuck E Cheese. Boy, was I disappointed. I kinda-sorta got the results, but it would have been nice to know things like who was racing against each other in the sprints, who made the keirin finals, and maybe some interim updates from the longer races. Tweeting "Scratch race qualifying" is useless. How about naming who won? Anyone who is bothering to follow you is going to want more info. If you're going to do it, do it up hardcore. This is me trying to be constructive, but I'm probably coming off like a dick. It's just my way.

Two years ago at FGC, I participated in too many events, which hindered my success. I will not make that mistake again. The sprint field looks to be pretty strong, but I'm excited to see how I stack up after such a long hiatus.

Franz and I practiced our Team Sprint starts yesterday to make sure I'm not going to get dropped with him riding his baby gear. I won't. Jonnycerious is sick, so we've got Jon Linchetz riding 3rd wheel. He comes highly recommended, though I've not heard of him before.

I've been watching the weather forcast like an OCD freak, and it looks like we may be OK. Hell, there's only a 40% chance of rain. There was a 60% chance tonight, and not a drop. I've got the car packed and will be rocking my new EDGE wheels tomorrow. I can't wait.

I'm too tired to proofread this shit.

Wendy's Menu Fail

2010-06-11T07:48:00.001-05:00

Jumpin'

2010-06-10T14:15:00.000-05:00

Franz and I did our final gym workout for the Fixed Gear Classic a couple days ago. It included power cleans, box jumps, and ergo spins. Since I didn't really have a "box" to jump over, we used my kids' toy drawer thingy.

This was not tall enough, so I added to it. With Lincoln Logs.

OK, I admit it, they're not real Lincoln Logs, but a cheap knock-off.

Then, we jumped.

And Ergo'd

I Haz A Camper

2010-06-08T10:21:00.000-05:00

My wife has been pestering me for over a year because she wanted a camper. I never wanted to deal with the hassle, and I've always been perfectly happy sleeping in a tent. But, she persisted, and we eventually found a killer deal on CraigsList.

Last weekend we went camping with my cousins at Baker Park Reserve. I've never been much for campgrounds, but the place was really nice and had some great bike paths.

Unfortunately, the weather didn't cooperate and it rained all day long on Saturday. We ended up drinking a LOT, since there wasn't much else to do. I actually had to take a 3-hour nap in the afternoon. I know, rough life.

The camper is awesome, except for the fact that the AC/DC converter stopped working. Basically, everything in the camper is set up to run on DC. When we're running on battery power the converter does nothing. When we're plugged in it converts the 110v to 12v. It turns out, converters are like $300. Since it essentially is only doing the same thing a batter charger does, I purchased one for $30, and will hard-wire it in place of the converter. I'm very resourceful.

Other than that, everything pretty much went to plan, which is strange for me.

I've been off the bike for a few days and weather isn't looking very good for today so I'll probably end up riding the ergo in the basement tonight. Big fun.

Best. Motivational Poster. Ever.

2010-06-05T14:48:00.000-05:00

So It Turns Out I'm Not Very Good At Racing

2010-06-04T09:59:00.002-05:00

Last night was a clusterfuck. Not only did I suck at racing, I sucked at life.

Upon arrival at the track, I realized I didn't have my license. After 30 minutes of messing with my asshole phone, I realized that I had forgotten to renew it! Oops. Evidently, I can't just buy a single-day pass because then I'd have to race with the 4's. I was eventually able to successfully renew my license on my phone, but it was more stress than I wanted to deal with on my first night back.

I then proceeded to lose everything. One glove, my water bottle, my boxers, my gloves again, and my helmet. Ugh. Oh, and my races...yeah, lost those, too.

Despite all my mishaps, I managed to get in a decent warm-up and was ready to race when it started sprinkling. This would be the theme of the night. Rain would threaten but we never got enough to cancel the racing.

If I had wanted to race well, my mind was certainly not in the right place. I was racing in self-preservation mode (don't crash don't crash don't crash!) instead of racing to win. I can't expect to have decent results with that mind-set. Keep in mind, it's been about 18 months since my last race, so my real goal was to get used to riding in the group again. In that, I succeeded.

The first race of the night was a 15-lap scratch race. I really just wanted to stay up and out of trouble. I followed a couple accelerations off the front, but mostly just hung out at the back. When the pace picked up with 2 laps to go, that's where I stayed. I ended up soft-pedaling in 2nd-to-last. That's OK, though. First race, no expectations.

The second race was a 3-lap sprint. We had 3 heats of 5, and I was in the 3rd heat with The DGC, Timmer, and Hagerty. Timmer led us out, and DGC took off with 1.5 laps to go. I was right on his wheel and I though we had gapped Hagerty and was content to ride DGC's wheel in for 2nd, which would qualify me for the finals. Then I heard Hagerty's squeaky-ass bike coming up beside me in turn 4, and he was carrying too much speed for me to react in time. I got 3rd, marking the first time I've ever failed to qualify for the finals in a sprint event. Boo.

In hindsight, I rode a stupid race. I wasn't riding aggressively and wasn't going for the win. I guess I got what I deserved.

The sprint final was fun to watch, with Ferris winning handily, followed by Franz and Tainter. Those guys were flying!

Because a night at the track isn't complete without some drama, the two Andy's got into it after their sprint heat. One of them was swearing a lot and one of them told the other that he's the sketchiest rider who ever rode the track. Ever. I though the issue should be resolved with some good ol' fashioned leg wrestling, but Skibby just yelled at them instead. Oh, well.

So, that was my night. After drinking a beer and spending 20 minutes searching for my helmet, we hit up Chipotle and headed home.

I feel like I could have had better results if I had focused on riding my race instead of worrying about what everyone else was doing, but it was good to get back out there and get my racing legs under me again.

Next weekend will be a different story.

It Is Time.

2010-06-02T14:20:00.006-05:00

I will be making my triumphant return to track racing tomorrow night in Blaine. All y'all should come out.

Was I inspired by the words of Russian Bear? Perhaps. Am I tired of working late on Thursdays? Definitely.

My expectations are low and I predict that I will suck, but I'll try my damnedest and I'll have a ton of fun doing it. Plus, I intend to look amazing.

That is all.

Clear The Road!

2010-05-26T16:35:00.000-05:00

Me + Tractor == Awesomeness.

Fo Free? I'm in!

2010-05-24T22:20:00.003-05:00

Max wanted to open up an ice cream shop, but we didn't want to pay for ice cream we just bought at the damn store. So he made this sign.

That's bad ass.

Pleasure, Indeed!

2010-05-23T00:26:00.001-05:00

If there's one thing that makes me crave a menthol cigarette, it's squirting mustard on a potato chip.

Hey, That Looks Just Like A...

2010-05-21T11:38:00.001-05:00

FAIL!

Thursday Night Light-Me-The-Fuck-Up

2010-05-21T10:35:00.003-05:00

Since I couldn't race the track last night due to other obligations, along with being completely worthless on the bike right now, Franz and I decided to crush ourselves out on the road.

I won't disclose the number of sprints we did because you damn roadies can't seem to handle it, but suffice it to say it was more than last week. Longer sprints, too. I completely collapsed on the last effort, but all my others were pretty good.

The best part about it was that I was still able to get myself back home afterwards, even though I was burping up bile throughout the entire 10-minute ride.

I still haven't gotten my spin back, and I don't feel particularly fluid on the bike, but that'll come. I'm getting faster every workout. Watch out, bitches.

Come On, We All Know The Real Reason We Have Kids

2010-05-20T06:13:00.001-05:00

Cheap labor.

Indy

2010-05-19T14:34:00.000-05:00

I'm so jealous. My sister just got a new Brittany puppy, named Indy. Super adorable, and seems like he'll be one hell of a hunter. The kids love him, too.

Bandit is teaching him to hunt.

Two-A-Days

2010-05-19T09:14:00.002-05:00

After the debacle that was my last trip to the track, I realized that I need to get fit or I'm going to be a hot mess on the bike this year. My boy Jonnycerious told me that the best way to get fit in a hurry is to do cardio right away in the morning before breakfast. Something about hormone levels and blah blah blah. Coincidentally, this is also a good way to burn fat.

So, I got up early this morning and put in 30 minutes on the ergo. It sucked. I'll also be working out again later tonight, and again tomorrow morning.

Let's see how fast I can burn out!

Kids...

2010-05-18T17:19:00.001-05:00

The 4-year-old brought my fishing license for Show & Tell today. I have no clue how or why she thought of that.

Back At The Track

2010-05-18T11:37:00.003-05:00

Franz had to deliver some wood to the track, so we decided to try to squeeze in a quick workout while we were there. After sitting in road construction on I94 for 45 minutes, it ended up needing to be a very quick workout.

Franz tried out his front and rear discs, and is seems to have gone successfully. Those things are so stupid-light it's scary, but he said they feel solid.

Luke, who abandoned me to secure a real job, met us there to check out the action. I'm positive it was the best day of his life.

My workout absolutely sucked balls. I feel like a really awful bike rider. I'm also fat, so I gotta work on that. Fuck me.

My Balls Feel Strange

2010-05-17T13:31:00.002-05:00

Well, I mean, they don't really feel strange. I got a strange feeling in them. Franz and I leave for the track in 45 minutes and - I dunno - I think I might be nervous.

Gawd, I'm a pussy. I'm all jittery and shit, too. Lame.

Fishing Opener

2010-05-17T09:39:00.004-05:00

I've never really been particularly excited about going fishing on the opener, but I now have a boy-child who is very excited about it. We got some monster sucker minnows in hopes of catching some monster Northerns.

Somehow, we kept catching bass, which we can't keep for another two weeks. I've never caught bass this big, and I've never caught bass on sucker minnows, so it was a bit of a shock.

We were also able to haul in 4 Northerns, so we've got the makings of a delicious fish fry. The weather was finally awesome, and I even got sunburned. Pimp.

Best Wedding DJ Ever

2010-05-13T16:34:00.001-05:00

Things really pick up for him at around 25 seconds, but you gotta watch the whole thing. Dude loves him some Phil Collins.

So, What You're Saying Is...

2010-05-12T20:10:00.002-05:00

It's a home security system...for my home? Madness.

Sorry it's covered in watermelon juice. Damn kids.